Whats been going on......

Well I survived one more day...... I know everyone grieves differently but my husband isnt greiving at all.... today was his birthday and he opened a card from his mom and dad... she had actually signed it... just a few days before she died..... he just put it to the side and commented that she actually signed it..... of couse it was right at bed time and he then got out of bed and said he couldnt sleep..... goes to the living room and turns on a funny movie and is laughing.... on the other hand I have been a mess all day...... I hate my job... had a really bad day yesterday at work...... My husbands mom just died 5 days ago and I have been sick with a migraine all day.... I just wanted to make today as specail as I could for chad... well the hat I got him from ebay was the wrong size.. he took the other things I got him and just kind of put them aside...... Years ago we desided to do thanksgiving with my family and christmas eve with his.... well because it was his birthday he wanted to go see his family....... so we went to my aunts house for dinner and stayed an hour and drove an hour to have store bought pie for his birthday at his sisters... I am sorry if I am a bit cold but for years after my family finishes with dinner we all sit around the kitchen table and look at the sales papers and kinda plan out our plans for black friday........ I am not even looking forward to going shopping tomorrow.... I have very little money and I will have to take aaron out in that mob of people..... I am not sure if my nerves can take it.... I am driving myself so if I need too I can come home. what happened to the magic of the holidays???